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70% student, 30% human, 100% lost

I ate chocolate cake for breakfast because this is what college has done to me and Bill Cosby says it is okay to eat chocolate cake for breakfast.

“It’s okay to eat chocolate cake for breakfast,” I thought.

“This is all that’s in my fridge. This is what I have to eat.” The chocolate cake falls into line with the nights of mixing cereal into the almost empty Nutella jar.

I’ve been a student for 70 percent of my life. I base my year off a August to June calendar.

1997-2006 // 70% Student

I went into Kindergarten with the only knowledge from pre-school: how to unsuccessfully work a yo-yo. I learned that I was capable of dressing like a candle with some color coordination and handmade paper flames and that my anxiety probably started from the 25 foot walk from the announcements pedestal to the flagpole as the entire student body watched. I learned I was not good at basketball, I could memorized a list of prepositions, and reverse birthday gift-giving (the phenomenon of bringing doughnuts on YOUR birthday to give to your classmates). Discipline was instilled through moving clothespins, moving cards, or God forbid “The Line”. The Line was the elementary equivalent of taking the black at The Wall in Game of Thrones. It was one single strip of red paint at the forefront of the blacktop. And in those nine years as a pre-pubescent girl I grew up absorbing the wisdom of mentors with instilled grammar rules. Nine years of cultural quests, art masters, dances, straight As, solid Bs, one fatal C. For those nine years, I was dressed in blue and gold. 

2006-2010 // 30% Human

The four years that followed, the blue changed to red, and I was a reluctant teenager going to a small all-girls high school with no familiar faces.

Four years of the Cha-Cha Slide as our anthem, bells to dictate breaks, a slew of detentions for being late to class. 7AM mornings, yearbook deadlines, after school games for athletic training. Four years of a high school tradition where no sleep, competition, delusion, hard work, and creativity brought out the best and worst in everyone. Some even say that Red and Gold was one of the reasons my high school was so memorable — a tradition that took place on a stage that Johnny Depp, Tom Petty, Alice Cooper, and Aerosmith recently graced with their presence. Little do they know that 500 girls seeped glitter, hairspray, sweat, tears, and Red Bull on that stage, but I assume that would make Steven Tyler feel right at home.

Four years of wanting senior privileges, accepting genuine life lessons from our favorite teachers, learning about ourselves, getting involved in every activity imaginable, and creating friendships. It was the start of college applications, where we learned how to ourselves appear better than the rest.

I think I peaked in high school.

2010-2013 // 100% Lost

And then I hit college. The best time of my life. Three and a half years of new. Three and a half years to take in being a student before the excuse of school was completely unusable. And now it’s over.

I wonder if the real world will appreciate my ability to dress like a candle.

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