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I don’t think I’ve ever been more uninspired in my life even though I am engulfed in a creative environment. But I find myself surrounded by things that I envy or need, or convince myself I need. How these two work together, I’m not sure. But what I always circle around to is a kind of lifestyle craving and dreaming whether it’s how my life should be now or how it will be after. And I hate it. But I do it.

I want a farm. 

Is that weird? I want land for dogs to run around and build sheds for gardens. I want my kids to run around and ride bikes and swim in rivers, treasure hunting, craving adventure.

I want kids while I’m young.

(Both require a boyfriend or a guy interested in me in general which neither will be in the near future I can assure you of that.)

I want a dog.

And not just a dog. Like, a puppy I can raise to be my best friend, dog. AKA, a Jack Russell terrier named Murph. Or Penny.

I want to be funny. 

Rather, I want to be associated with being funny. I want to go improv shows and be friends with people that are genuinely,  funny. (Current status: in progress.)

I want to be a beach bum.

(Disregard the total dislike of varying elements of the beach.) I actually want to learn how to surf and feel comfortable in the water. The rush of surfing gets me excited, and I want to be able to surf and teach my kids how to surf. I want to be engulfed in the surf culture.

I want to travel. 

I want to travel to Uganda with the organization I am a part of. I want to walk down the streets of Greece because I’d actually like to take a real vacation. I want to road trip across the Pacific Northwest with friends. I want to backpack through Europe.

I want to be able to write witty things and not things…like…this.

(But seriously, I want to be able to write so that other people find it interesting.)

I want to become a better photographer because in five years, everyone’s going to be better than me. 

(BUT SERIOUSLY, I can’t talk about going into photojournalism or on-set photo and expect myself to just be okay at the level I’m at. Get it together, Leon.)

I want a cool last name so it sounds cool that my nickname is merely my last name. 

Seriously.

I want to own a coffee shop.

It will be called “Ryan’s” on the sole purpose I think that’s a good name for a coffee shop.

How is it that with so many creative people around me and my acknowledgement of these people still backs me into a corner of being not motivated and uninspired? I need to not only accept this guilty pleasure of lifestyle but actually work towards it. Lately, my time has been consumed with making sure all my shit is together by the end of the semester, as well as developing a dream show for my Game of Television class.

And that concludes another round of Katherine-tries-to-write-something-clever-and-it-comes-out-to-just-being-about-getting-her-said-shit-together.

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